What should parents teach their children first?

Obsession with Academic Ranking Led to a Family Tragedy

A boy was pressured by his mother to study from a young age. He was a top student, ranking within the top three in his class, but his mother wanted him to be number one. After his father’s affair, the mother became even more obsessed with his studies. Eventually, the boy faked his report card to reassure his mother. As the college entrance exam approached, his teacher requested a parent-teacher meeting. Afraid that his lies would be exposed, the boy struck his mother on the head with a wooden club. She never woke up again, and the boy was sent to prison.

The mother, who only cared about grades, failed to make her son the best student, and in the end, he committed the terrible crime of killing his own parent. This mother did not teach her child the most important lesson in life. In today’s world, academic success is important, but what is the very first thing parents should teach their children?

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The Most Important Quality: Good Character

Character is a person’s unique and consistent way of thinking and behaving, which makes them different from others. Parents want their children to grow up well, adapt to society, and get along with others. The key quality needed for this is good character. A person with good character attracts people and earns their trust.

Liu Bei, the founder of the Shu Han kingdom during China’s Three Kingdoms period, was once poor and made a living by selling straw sandals and mats. However, he valued virtue and cared for people. Because of this, many great figures followed and respected him. Well-known historical figures such as Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, and Zhuge Liang chose to serve him because they needed a leader they could trust in troubled times. A person with good character becomes a guiding compass for their group.

There is a saying: "A person who stays near ink will become black" (近墨者黑). This means that people with strong character attract like-minded individuals who share similar values. If parents make teaching good character their top priority, their children will have the opportunity to express their own thoughts and ideas to the world in the future.

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Helping Children Find Their Own Life Goals

Parents should help their children set their own life goals. During the Joseon Dynasty, two great scholars, Yulgok Yi I and Toegye Yi Hwang, had different philosophical ideas. However, they both agreed on one thing: a person must first set a clear goal before working toward it. Effort without a purpose quickly leads to exhaustion.

It is okay if it takes a long time to set a goal. A well-chosen goal will remain strong, even over time. Parents should not decide their child’s path but rather wait and support them as they discover it on their own. When a child finds their own way, they will truly learn how to build their own future. The role of a parent is to help their child grow into an independent individual.

If parents treat their child as a tool to decorate their own life, the child’s true self will disappear. However, children who are guided to find their own path often become people who lead humanity to a better future.

 

It is said that "God could not take care of every child, so He created parents."
Every parent wishes for their child to become a great and admirable person.
That is why it is clear what parents must teach their children first.

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