Xu Heng's Parenting Method

Xu Heng, Who Taught the Importance of Good Character

In Korea, a student who bullied others at school transferred to a new school. Later, he got into Seoul National University, the best university in Korea. This became a big issue when people found out that his father was getting a high-ranking job. The scandal led to the father losing his position. This shows that people in important jobs need to have good character and teach their children well.

A famous scholar in the Yuan Dynasty, Xu Heng (許衡), always told his children that character was the most important thing. Because of his teachings, his children grew up to be honest and respected people. They later became high-ranking officials and were praised for their good character. Let’s look at how Xu Heng taught his children about character.

[Portrait of Xu Heng: Source – Naver Knowledge Encyclopedia]

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Xu Heng Helped Improve the Yuan Dynasty’s Government

Xu Heng lived when the Mongols ruled China. At that time, the Mongols treated the Han Chinese unfairly. The Yuan emperor, Kublai Khan (忽必烈), needed the Han people’s help to rule the country and keep it stable. Xu Heng advised the Mongols to use Han scholars wisely. Kublai Khan agreed and let him help improve the government system. This made the country more stable.

Xu Heng believed that to lead people well, rulers should understand them, treat them with respect, and keep their promises. He thought this was the way to build a strong government. During Kublai Khan’s rule, the Yuan Dynasty became the largest empire in Mongol history.

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Parents Should Set a Good Example

Xu Heng believed that children learn from their parents’ actions. He once refused to take a pear from a tree because it did not belong to him. This showed his honesty, even when no one was watching.

If parents break small rules—like crossing the street when the light is red because no cars are coming or making illegal U-turns for convenience—children will learn that rules don’t always matter. When they grow up, they might break bigger rules to gain benefits. If leaders act this way, society will become corrupt. In such a society, who will follow the rules, and how can the country move forward?

If education is only about success and not about building good character, children may become smart but dishonest. This can harm society in the future.

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Teach Children About Good Role Models

Xu Heng introduced his children to people with strong character rather than just those who had big achievements. One example was Bao Zheng (包拯), an honest official from the Song Dynasty. Bao followed the rules and treated people fairly, even when he had great power.

Teenage years are important for shaping character. Instead of only teaching about famous people, we should introduce role models who lived honestly and can inspire children to be good people. Children may find someone they admire and try to live like them. Creating a family motto about good character can also help.

 

During the Yuan Dynasty, the Mongols were unfair to the Han Chinese.
But Kublai Khan respected Xu Heng’s good character and listened to his advice.
This helped the empire grow strong. Even if someone is very talented,
they cannot succeed in difficult situations without good character.

 

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