Choi Chi-won's Parenting Method

A Father Who Raised His Son to Be a Great Writer

Choi Chi-won (崔致遠) was a famous writer and government official at the end of the Silla Dynasty. He was also well known in China. In 2013, Chinese President Xi Jinping recited Choi Chi-won’s poem Fan Hai (泛海) during a Korea-China summit, which became a hot topic. One of the reasons for Choi Chi-won’s great success was his father, Choi Gyeon-il (崔肩逸), and his unique way of raising his children. Let’s take a look at his parenting style.

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Letting Children Choose Their Own Path

Silla had a strict class system. No matter how hard they worked, people from the sixth rank (6두품) could not rise beyond a certain level. Choi Gyeon-il experienced this himself, so he let his children choose their own futures. He carefully observed their talents and interests to help guide them. As a result, his first son studied in China and became a famous Buddhist monk, while Choi Chi-won became a well-known writer.

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Supporting Children When They Are Ready

Silla was the weakest of the three Korean kingdoms. However, by learning from China, Silla became stronger and eventually conquered Baekje and Goguryeo. At that time, many Silla parents sent their children to study in China, and there were even villages in China where Silla people lived together. Choi Gyeon-il’s family was not wealthy, so sending both sons to study abroad was difficult. That’s why he only supported them when they had strong goals and were truly ready.

 

Today, many parents send their children abroad to study English. However, studying abroad is only effective when the child has a clear purpose. If children are forced to go, they may not benefit much from the experience. Choi Gyeon-il was very strict about this. When Choi Chi-won went to China, his father told him, "If you do not pass the national exam, I will not consider you my son." He was a strict father, but he deeply cared about his children’s future.

 

Parents are like soil, and children are the trees that grow from it. Choi Gyeon-il helped his children find ways to overcome social limitations. He knew that studying in a more advanced country could bring great opportunities for their future. That’s why he set clear goals before allowing them to study abroad. Today's parents can learn from Choi Gyeon-il. When sending children to study abroad, shouldn't they also be firm and thoughtful, just like he was?

 

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