What Is the Best Way to Discipline?

Li Dazhao Disciplined by His Grandfather

Li Dazhao (李大钊) was a key figure in the founding of the Communist Party of China, working alongside Mao Zedong (毛泽东). During China’s turbulent times, he played a pioneering role in guiding the people. One of the reasons he grew into a great leader was the discipline he received from his grandfather.

 

As a child, Li Dazhao enjoyed watching people gamble at a shrine across from his house. His grandfather repeatedly warned him that gambling was a bad habit, but he did not listen. On a particularly hot day, he sneaked out again to watch gambling and returned home late. This time, his grandfather sternly scolded him and said he must face the consequences of his actions. As a punishment, he ordered young Li Dazhao to flip over straw mats that had been placed on the roof under the scorching sun.

 

Sweating profusely, the boy climbed onto the roof and endured the punishment. His grandfather, although feeling sympathy for his struggling grandson, allowed him to experience the hardship. After a while, he called him down, handed him a glass of cool water, and gently explained the dangers of gambling. This episode illustrates that discipline must be handled carefully. Let’s examine some key principles of effective discipline.

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Strict but Not Harsh

If a child is punished every time they make a mistake, the punishment may lose its effectiveness. The key to discipline is ensuring that mistakes are not repeated. Therefore, punishment should be firm in principle but not excessively harsh. Severe punishments can negatively impact a child's physical and mental well-being.

 

For example, making a child sit facing a wall for a short period can be an effective consequence. However, if this method is overused, the child may stop reflecting on their mistakes and simply endure the punishment without truly learning from it.

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Consistent and Context-Aware

When children repeatedly make the same mistake despite multiple warnings, parents should carefully consider the circumstances before disciplining them. Scolding a child in front of others can damage their self-esteem. Additionally, if discipline is inconsistent—sometimes punishing a behavior and other times ignoring it—children may fail to recognize their mistake. This inconsistency can lead them to believe that their actions are acceptable in certain situations, fostering flawed reasoning that may persist into adulthood.

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Consider the Child’s Personality

A child's personality—whether they are introverted or extroverted—should be taken into account when determining an appropriate punishment. If parents choose a method that the child finds particularly distressing, it may backfire. For example, requiring an introverted child to write an apology letter and collect signatures from family members might cause deep emotional distress.

 

Rather than focusing on their mistake, they may become preoccupied with how unfair the punishment felt.

Since education does not have a one-size-fits-all solution, discipline should be adapted to the child’s needs. The most important goal is to prevent children from going down the wrong path by helping them recognize their own mistakes.

 

Li Dazhao, one of the founders of the Communist Party, was able to avoid the dangers of gambling thanks to the discipline he received from his grandfather.
Discipline can be effective, but if not handled carefully, it can also have negative consequences. When disciplining children for repeated mistakes, the punishment should not be too severe.
It is also important to consider the situation and maintain consistency.
Additionally, the method of discipline should be adapted to the child’s personality. Today, juvenile delinquency is becoming more severe, yet many parents struggle to find effective ways to educate their children. 
The ultimate goal of discipline is to prevent children from engaging in wrongful behavior.

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